Log fatigue

I was definitely running low on creativity / inspiration by the time I got to the March event ... Since it took place around St. Patrick's Day, more or less, and we did have drinks, the Cheers theme was selected.

Trying to get FTFs today takes everything you've got. 
having more time and fewer worries, sure would help a lot. 
Here's an event to get away? 
Sometimes you want to go 

Where every cacher knows your name, 
and the host is glad you came. 
You wanna go so you can see, 
DNFs are all the same 
You wanna be where geocachers know your name. 

You wanna grab some phone-a-friends, 
you know they'll all be game, 
You wanna go where geocachers know your name.

Why, as a geocacher, do I get lost so often?

Winter Meetup 4 was in Enfield or Somers or somewhere near there. I failed to load my GPS correctly and almost didn't show up for it. The bridge/end of the song made this the best choice...

(Guns 'n Roses - "Sweet Child O' Mine") 

I've got a frown 'cause it seems to me
GPS, it is not telling me
How I messed up, no it will not tell me why

No co-ords and I did not check
the upload went wrong ... oh, what the heck
And if I drive too far, I'd probably break down and cry

Whoa, oh, oh, dumb move o' mine
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, dumb move of mine

Then I thought that I might have got
some caches quite nearby
I'd hate to turn back and go home so I gave it a try

I want to go find in that snowy place
The caches those two'd hide
But I had no co-ords so I sat and time, it just passed me by

Whoa, oh, oh, dumb move o' mine
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, dumb move of mine
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, dumb move o' mine
ooh, dumb move of mine

Where do I go? Where do I go now? Where do I go?
Where did they go? Where did they go now?
Oh, where do I go now?

Where do I go? Where do I go now?
(Sweet child) Ooh, where do I go now?

Where do I go? Oh, where do I go now? Oh, where do I go now? (multiple times)

Now now now now now now now
Dumb move, dumb move o' mine

SiNwYrM and GSAK

In February, And Sister hosted an event where SiNwYrM taught us how to get more out of GSAK software. Seeing that SiNwYrM was our professor for the day, They Might Be Giants' "Dr. Worm" was the song of choice. (http://youtu.be/Om7IBJf7-fc)

They call me Dr. Wyrm
Good evening, how are you?
I'm Dr. Wyrm.

I'm so into caching.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a SiNwYrM;
My name is really SiNwYrM.
It is just SiNwYrM.

I like to use GSAK.
I think I'm pretty good,
And I can teach you how to use it.
I'll show you what I know
And you can tell me if you think I've covered everything and some.
I'll leave some good stuff out so I can
win in our league

When I get into it, I can't tell if you are
Watching me clicking around.
When I use the menu, my friends
That is where I run a macro

Some day somebody else besides me will
use the poly/arc tool, they will
Call me the SiNwYrM.
Good evening, how are you? I'm the SiNwYrM
I'm so into caching.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a SiNwYrM;
My name is really SiNwYrM.
It is just SiNwYrM.

I like to use GSAK.
I think I'm pretty good,
And I can teach you how to use it.
I'll show you what I know
And you can tell me if you think I've covered everything and some.
I'm just a good cacher,
But they call me the SiNwYrM!

Cold as Ice but Sweet like Vanilla

The 3rd winter meetup in Enfield ... well, it was freezing. Ice Ice Baby naturally came to mind for this event.

20 degrees, it's freezing

Winter Meetup
Winter Meetup
All right stop, stay in the car, it's freezing
Catch a cold and then you may start sneezing
Blankets, wrap them around me tightly
Even if the sun is shining brightly
Wind, when will it stop? Yo, I don't know
All I can say, "Dude, it blows"
To the extreme, I think the wind chill is zero
Hide in the car, don't act like a superhero
Cache go rush to the heater that warms
It's heating your bod from your legs up to your arms
Deadly when you are not dressed properly
Anything less, that would just be disorderly
Love it or leave it you better beware
You're gonna freeze out in this winter air
Make it a bit warmer, yo I'll hike it
Wait 'til the spring, I think that's when I'll like it

Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the

Now that the event is jumping
GPS kicked in, cachers' veins, they are pumpin'
Quick to the cache, to the cache no stalling
They're looking around 'cause the snow is falling
Coating them if they ain't quick and nimble
Smaller groups, they start to assemble
Go their own way all at different tempos
Some can't keep up and they have to go solo
Climbin' with their hiking sticks
With the snowcover there will be no ticks
The muggles just stand by wondering should they say hi
Cachers stop? No, they cache on by
Kept on pursuing to the next cache
They bushwhacked a left and they're heading to the next stash
The tree was dead
Yo so they continued to check both ends (found it in a hole)
Trails packed down from the week's early seekers
Wearing snowshoes, can't do this in sneakers
Crazy 'cause there's two feet of snow
But, FTF, they all felt they had to go
Get it and then post on their walls
The guys acting like snow was up to their eyeballs
License, somewhere out on the trail
It fell somewhere, we heard the host wail
Fallen in the snowpack somewhere
Wawindaji, he would be there
Shovel and shovel, he kept one in his pack
Kept trying to find the card before he hurt his back
He stayed on the scene you know what I mean
He dug it up, he's such a caching fiend
If you lose your license, yo, he'll find it
Just let him know 'cause I'm sure he won't mind it

Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the

Take heed, 'cause all the weathermen show it
It's twenty-two degrees just in case you didn't know it
Those guys, that just logged that they were all found
Didn't have to go seek holes in the ground
'Cause they're all winter-friendly in snow
Possible finds with no indecision, just go
All hidden with care, it's a hell of a concept
They kept them high and you want to go find this
Go hide in the shade, creep like a ninja
And soon the find is made so fast other cachers say damn
Then they'll send you ahead as the sacrificial lamb
Keep your composure when it's time to move on
Mesmerized by the hunt, inhibition's gone
If there was a cache there, yo they'll find it
Check out that tree 'cause that's where they'd hide it

Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the
Winter meetup, went to the Win...

Yo man let's get out of here
I signed the logsheet!
Winter Meetup, too cold too cold
Winter Meetup, too cold too cold
Winter Meetup, too cold too cold
Winter Meetup, too cold too cold

Practicing Survival

My goal for this year is to write up longer logs for events and FTFs. The recent glut of events in 2013 has tested me ... so much that the FTF logs are taking me a long time to do. This is the 2nd of 2 FTFs I've found this year (I've cut back). It's obviously fictional and written from the point of view of Jeff Probst, host of Survivor.

It was a day like any other day. The sun rose, I had breakfast, I sat around the hut just waiting for the producers' plans. It was about 4PM when I got the call. BTW, as host, it is great to be able to have a clock around on this god-forsaken island!


A new luxury challenge had been created for the survivors but they needed people to test it out. We can't have the contestants be guinea pigs, it's a huge insurance liability. Occasionally, when they're not overly long, complex or dangerous, they'll have me test out the courses. You can tell which ones I've tested because I'm extra snarky with the contestants. I mean, really, if I can do it, they shouldn't complain. Also, those videos they show when I'm doing my voice-over explanation of the rules, well, that's us! I'm the one with the really strong legs.

So, I headed out to an opening in the jungle to see what they had in store. Shortly after arrival, I heard the growling. It sounded like they had a bunch of wolves nearby. Well, they did but they were all safely caged away. The canines were only there for drama and imagery. Knowing some of these contestants, this might actually work.

The challenge is as follows:
Contestants must approach the wolf den carefully and compete in a needle-in-the-haystack contest. They must look for a clue which will tell them where to proceed next. Once found, they re-hide it so that the others may continue searching. At the next area, contestants have to go work their way through dangerous jungle vines. The vines can rip one’s skin to shreds if one is not careful. Once they get to the final destination, they have to open the box and stamp their tribe's name on the sheet inside. The first three to complete the challenge win the luxury.

I could see the crew smirking at me. They must think I've acted like a diva lately. They normally wouldn't have me go through phase 2 of this challenge. They tend to forget that I’m a pretty tough guy anyway.

When the starting horn went off, everyone scattered in different directions. I ran around the small pond where I caught up with two women who seemed both friendly and competitive. The others challenge testers were far behind us. They were able to spot the clue first. I, luckily, saw where they replaced the clue and was able to get the information quickly. I set off for the prickly area with the ladies and relaxed as no one was remotely near us.

That relaxation turned into dread when we saw what lay before us. We walked around those vines and knew that, no matter which way we turned, we were going to bleed. We diverged, converged and diverged again until we saw the container. I was 2nd to arrive and once we added our signatures to the page (to be auctioned off for charity at the end of the season), the producers blew the whistle letting us know the challenge was over. I had cuts on my arms and legs but I would be alright. The three of us did manage to extricate ourselves by finding a pricker-free exit. I wish we had seen this route on the way in. Then again, this mean our contestants are in for a challenge.

OK, it's time for me to get my smug attitude ready. Someone's torch is about get snuffed.

The Raven Does Not Cause Tryptophantasma

This was fun to write and took me a while to create.  Found a cache on Thanksgiving morning and wanted a nice long log to match the coolness of the cache.

Poe's "The Raven" (sorta)

Once upon a morning chilly, while I woke up weird and silly,
Over many a trill and too loud volume, heard my alarm bell,
While I lay there, nearly sinking back to sleep, I started thinking,
As of some one gently sending, sending e-mail to my Dell.
`'Tis some dumb spammer,' I muttered, `sending e-mail to my Dell -
Bet he has a spot in hell’

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak November,
And each separate noisy youngster’s stomp heard in my bedroom cell.
Eagerly I wished for quiet; - sadly they began to riot
I controlled their breakfast diet – diet full of yummy smell -
For the rare and seldom cooking I do with no sense of smell -
I was up so what the hell.

And the children were uncertain, for each other they were hurtin’
Pained me – drained me as my patience level quickly it did fell;
So that now, to still the crying in the room, I kept replying
`'Maybe we can watch videos I downloaded on my Dell -
Some really funny videos I downloaded on my Dell; -
Please say yes and end this hell'

Presently my soul grew weaker as I saw fly by a sneaker
`Lord,' said I, ‘I humbly ask thee,’ as my tears began to swell
And the fact is I was praying as my sanity was swaying,
And so faintly came the saying, saying coming from my Dell,
That I scarce was sure I heard it' – I had e-mail on my Dell; -
Save me from this gloomy hell.

Deep into that e-mail peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming caches no mortal ever found or logged to tell;
But of found logs, none were spoken, and my solitude was broken,
And the only word, a token, was the whispered phrase, `Oh well!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Oh, well!'
First to find try? What the hell!

Back into the bedroom searching, toward my GPS was lurching,
Soon again I heard a beeping somewhat louder than a bell.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something to help me FTF;
Let me see then, where’s my jacket with the polyester shell –
Let me stay warm in my jacket with the polyester shell; -
For this wind, it feels like hell!'

Then my car, I got it going, and soon my GPS was showing
Where the cache it was awaiting, futures soon it would foretell.
Had to drive for half an hour; didn’t even stop to shower;
But I knew I had the coords that were sent straight to my Dell -
Perched upon my dusty dashboard, numbers copied from my Dell -
Hit the gas and drove like hell.

But my confidence, it was waning and my neck was to craning
to see if in the parking lot would I have to run pell-mell,
`Down a trail I started walking for I heard no voices talking
So at running I was balking, hoping luck would soon dispel -
That I always DNF, a trend I needed to dispel!'
Got to GZ, `What the hell?!'

Much I wandered and meandered, the cache owner’s name I slandered,
For the first stage it was hiding and I so wanted to yell;
For I could not seem to find it but then I was soon reminded
How could I have been so blinded! Checked the info from my Dell -
Now I knew who hid the blasted cache, its data on my Dell,
Text the CO? What the hell?

Coolcamaro, they took mercy on this poor kid from New Jersey
Got a hint and off I went, yes from that spot I did propel.
Moments later then I uttered – then I coughed and then I sputtered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `All my senses do rebel! -
I already … no … I checked there, yes, my brain, it does rebel.'
How’d I miss that? What the hell?!


Standing in the stillness shaken, now some tools I had now taken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `this, my blunder, I do not wish to retell.
Now ‘twas time to resume hunting but this soon just lead to grunting
Because I was now confronting failure, I could not excel -
Over two years I’ve been caching and yet I still can’t excel
I am stuck in caching hell.

Round and round, I nearly went mad because I thought that I’d been had,
I had walked many circles around stage one like a gazelle;
On a stupid plan I’d set, I just knew that I would get
To quickly find stage two and yet my plan was doomed to never gel -
It was clear and likely, had to work, and yet it would never gel
Epic fail, yep! What the hell?!’

Then I roamed engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
How this cache, it kept confounding, sparing not a sole brain cell;
I would cease all my pretexting and soon I was back to texting
On the phone with Coolcamaro just like Alexander Bell,
And they said they’d come to help me, the poor man’s Alexander Bell
Geez, where is it? What the hell?!

Then, methought, my brain grew clearer as the cache owners got nearer
Maybe I had just not peeked in a certain spot very well.
`Damn,' I cried, `I see the log there – it seemed I’d always known just where
the log – the log, its hiding spot, Oh now I’d have to tell!
With Coolcamaro on the way, My goof I’d now have to tell!'
They would surely give me hell.

`Dammit!' said I, `it was frozen! – This I should have been supposin’ -
For I am an Ivy Leaguer; went to Princeton, not Cornell
FTF yet like a newbie, I knew I deserved a booby
Prize – Oh surely this would not do be-cause on this I would not dwell -
Are there - are there ways to forget? – On this, I do not wish to dwell!'
Trapped inside my mental hell.

`Dammit!' said I, `it was frozen! – This I should have been supposin’ -
The cache owners, they quick approached me – but my sadness did compel -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, with confidence a-fadin,
That their trip, that they had made in minutes, it would all end well -
With two grins and nodding motions, they forgave me. All was well?'
Yet they still asked, “what the hell?”

`Told them both before departing of my deeds before just starting
To go look for yet another cache as serendipity befell!
In the lot was a GRC, barely more than an LPC
But now I could rest easily – as I wished the two farewell
Soon I was back in my car, my morn, it seems it did fare well!'
Call from my wife: “What the hell!”

’Twas Thanksgiving, and she waited, not elated, not elated
with my dalliance but now I sit here in front of my Dell;
And today, there’s no more caching or, my wife, she’ll be a-bashing,
And the scary verbal lashing, worse than a grenade’s shrapnel;
And I don’t know if I’d survive that cacophonous shrapnel
Risk her ire? What the hell?